Defining Mr. or Mrs. Right part 2
Decide what matters. If you are interested in a long term commitment, then deciding what matters to you in a partner is better done before you meet them. This is not a time to decide that your future partner should have blue eyes or black hair because you want kids with that combination; rather this is a time to be selective about what really matters. Fifteen years later appearances change and if you fall in love with the appearance of a person and not their intellect, character, or heart, then you will have built the foundation of your marriage on a sink-hole. Make a list. This is the hardest part of the process, making a list of the qualities that are really important to you and compliment you in some way. For instance, if you know that you are a spender when it comes to money, then you are better off marrying a saver. If you are coming into the marriage with kids from a previous marriage, then it is essential to have a spouse that loves kids. If you like to watch weird Sci-Fi movies, then it is good to have someone who can enjoy them with you. The list should be long and as specific as possible without too much detail. For instance, writing down a general statement such as “good sense of humor” is not specific enough; rather “enjoys a dry sense of humor” is a better statement. On the other hand, too specific statements limit your prospects. This is about finding a balance.
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